you

right now, i am researching and thinking of ideas for my individual oral presentation on Monday. but i am suddenly reminded of what you said. and i remember the shock and the pain you inflicted on me, no matter how you intended it, no matter how meaningless and how insignificant it was to you.

i wanted to vent it all on twitter, but as more and more memories of the incidents flooded the corner of my brain that i thought i had hidden so well, even from myself, came back to me, i felt that i have the need to vent it all, so here it is.

i'm going to copy down the tweets, so bear with it even though you might have seen it on my twitter page and facebook wall.

i pretended not to hear because i wanted to escape. but now, i will face it, and you shall swallow back your words. also, i did not want to be mean to you. i am still hurting now though, and tears come to my eyes when i think of what you had said.

it isn't because i had forgiven you. i wanted to forget it. because we are friends.

i was angry then, but it was not only at your insensitivity. i was angry at myself; i knew that you were right. i still remember the words and time when you said what you said. but i will not say it here. because i don't want you to apologize. i don't want your apology to prove that it is useless; i will never forget what you said and i will never forgive you.

there were certain boundaries that you should never had crossed. i know that you did not think that you would have hurt me. and i didn't stop you from hurting me. because i am a coward. i didn't want to say that that was my weakness. i didn't want you to know that i was and still am afraid.

but now, i will face it. no matter how much suffering i would go through because of it. and i would never tell you who you are. because, i know, that would be the time that i would hate you forever.

kiddy grade ending theme

here is the ending theme of my favourite anime series of all time =D
and the romanization + enlish translation =D
from youtube (the uploader is malik1523) and anime lyrics dot com (i can't believe that i'm doing referencing here but...yeah)

Oo and u can seach for videos/songs/what not once the song ends, at the top of the screen

Original / Romaji Lyrics
saa yukou mou furikaeranai
kono mama ate nado nakute ii

yume miru you na yume wa hoshikunai

nagareyuku hoshi ni kaketa negai wa hitotsu
kareru koto no nai tsuyosa o kudasai
doko made mo tsuzuite yuku kono michi o
arukitsuzukete yuku shika nai

koufuku ni riyuu nanka iranai
kanashimi wa souzou kara hajimaru

mata sagaseba ii doko ka ni aru wa

karamiau kimochi no ito o hodoitara
omou yori kokoro wa kodoku datta
mizu o motomeru sakana mitai ni hakanaku
aorarete ashita ni wa ikanai

nagareyuku hoshi ni kaketa negai wa hitotsu
kareru koto no nai tsuyosa o kudasai
doko made mo tsuzuite yuku kono michi o
arukitsuzukete yuku shika nai

number 1 muahaha

i doubt that u can see the image (its kinda small, just look at the number 1 spot heheh), im number 1 on icy( for today but that's enough)! AHAHAHA

order form!

just filled in the order form for the costume and blah.
this feels so surreal O.O
and it added up to about $120.
quite cheap sia!
but its still over 100 =X

hungry ttm =( in BCOMM class now. =( sian max

costume

Just went onto http://www.taobao.com to search for costumes!
I wanted ablue costume. Its freaking pretty!!! well anyways, here are the links to the pictures (since i can't post the pictures here )

sighs stupid blogger, or rather me that don't know how to use blogger, the links aren't coming out! so here they are: http://item.taobao.com/item.htm?id=4441153948
http://item.taobao.com/item.htm?id=2089685336

COSPLAY

When Jane (Junko)told me that she cosplayed in sec 4, i was seriously shocked (and thought that it was weird). i thought that cosplay was only in Japan and you must be terribly brave to be able to walk out of your house in your costume and make up (and sometimes with a weapon), chiong out of the lift, quickly hail a taxi, tolerate the weird look of the driver (and risk getting chased out) and then appear at the lobby of the venue at wherever the competition or event is held at. and Jane's mom even told her to experience more of the outside world with cosplay. after hearing jane talk aboout cosplay frequently, my mindset that cosplay is kinda weird slowy changed. it actually sounds pretty exciting! And...i've decided to cosplay this year!!! before i turn old and ppl call me old hag in costume or cosfuck - which means failure cosplayer.


So, what am i cosplaying as? =D its Nak bin from the bride of the water god! she's the evil one actually =( but whatever! i wanted to cosplay as her cos the artist drew her very nicely and very few people actually cosplayed as her. but i'm kinda worried now that there are actually photographers at the event. and i most likely have to pose as some evil bitch next to jane who is cosplaying as the female lead,Soah, and also the love rival of Nakbin.


i think that HYB is kinda shocked that i decided to cosplay. but she said that she will come down and take pictures and support me hehe =)


but i have to go on a diet! to shed off the huge amount of fats on my body and have super nice legs. and i've gotta do it within 3 months. ROOT FOR ME, PEOPLE! =D